Humor: Americans With No Abilities Act

Take a break for some humor. The article, below, should bring you a chuckle.

AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT

President Barack Obama and the Congress are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing."

In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons With No Ability. And let's not forget the Federal Government which holds the record with 94 percent of its members lacking any usable skills or common sense.

Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the inept include the financial industry (85 percent), the insurance industry (82 percent), and the news media (65 percent). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles has an excellent record of hiring Persons With No Ability (71 percent).

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance. Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability (POI) into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, "Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?" "As a non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Michigan, due to her inability to remember the "righty tighty, lefty loosey" rule. "This new law should be real good for people like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Sen. Dick Durbin: "As a senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so."

*My thanks to Greg Thew for this article (author unknown)
**Minor editing applied to enhance humor

The Conficker Virus: Protecting Your Computer

If you read the newspapers or watch the news, you are aware of the CONFICKER COMPUTER WORM. It is a virus that threatens computers throughout the world. News like this puts fear into the hearts of most of us. Am I vulnerable? What can I do to protect myself? Knowledge is power, so here are a few simple answers.

1. Who is vulnerable? According to my research, any computer running a Windows operating system is vulnerable.

2. What can I do to protect my computer? In today's environment, all computers MUST be protected by a good SECURITY SUITE and a FIREWALL. If you purchased a suite from McAffee, Norton or other security software company, you probably have both. Many Internet service providers (ISPs) include a firewall with their service, and, more and more, ISPs also offer free security suites. Having a security suite and firewall is not enough, however. IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU KEEP YOUR SYSTEMS UPDATED. Be sure you have the latest Windows security updates and the latest updates to your security suites. If you haven't recently done so, go to your computer's Windows Update prompt and run it. Then open your security suite and run its update to ensure your security software and virus definintions are updated to the latest versions.

3. What else can I do? Lastly, NEVER OPEN AN E-MAIL ATTACHMENT FROM SOMEONE YOU DO NOT KNOW AND TRUST. Opening e-mail attachments and unknown programs is the most common method of computer virus propagation. But, understand, just because you know and trust the sender of an e-mail attachment does not make it safe. That person's computer could be infected with a virus that sends e-mails with malicious attachments without the owner's knowledge, and that is why you need to complete the actions listed above.

According to my research, if your computer has the LATEST WINDOWS UPDATES and CURRENT VERSIONS of a SECURITY SOFTWARE and FIREWALL, you should be safe. For more information, read the Microsoft article about the Conficker virus at the website, below.

Protect Yourself from the Conficker Computer Worm

Barack Obama: President or Puppet

We've had two months to watch our new President in action. During this short time, we watched helplessly as he nominated lobbyists to his cabinet, railroaded a record cost stimulus package and a record cost, earmark-plagued budget package through Congress, without allowing the Congress, let alone the American people, time to read and debate its contents. And he did this despite overwhelming outcries from the American people to the contrary. Why did this happen? Very simply, Barack Obama is not running the show inside the beltway.

You will remember, "Candidate" Obama promised not to appoint lobbyists into his cabinet, not to allow earmarks into legislation, to work with both parties and to give the American people FIVE DAYS to review and provide feedback on all legislation. Many are saying President Obama intentionally betrayed his campaign promises. As I stated in my article during the presidential campaign, Financial Meltdown: Which Party Is Responsible?, "You can't elect a president based on the promises made during a campaign. Those promises are made precisely to sway your vote. They are RARELY kept." But it is not that simple.

Do you not wonder why, with our economy teetering on depression, a newly elected President Obama left Washington, D.C. on a whirlwind campaign style tour making speeches to the American people and vacationing at Camp David and Chicago? Shouldn't he, as leader of our nation, have been in Washington with his sleeves rolled up providing leadership and input to the Congress in the drafting of these spending bills? Instead he left Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats on their own to draft highly partisan legislation while totally shutting out the very bipartisan input he had promised. Well, the answer is quite simple. Barack Obama was not calling the shots. Nancy Pelosi and the Democratic Congress were. And they did not want the President in the way.

This is why the Democratic Party chose an inexperienced Barack Obama to be their candidate for President during the last election. He, certainly, was not a leader. He did not pioneer any legislation. He didn't, even, have the courage to vote "Yes" or "No" on many issues before him during his short time in the Senate. You may remember his modus operandi was to vote "PRESENT". Barack Obama was the perfect candidate for the powerful left wing majority in the Congress. He was a fine orator and a "pretty face" who would sell their agenda to the American people. He would be the shiny new puppet, and the Democratic Congress would pull the strings.

It is critical that we recognize the situation in which we find our nation. Understanding the peril of too much power in the hands of too few, our Founding Fathers carefully crafted our Constitution with a separation of power among the three branches of government. At this time, we do not have that separation. The powerful Democratic majority in Congress is, now, running our country unchecked. We, therefore, must maintain EXTREME VIGILENCE over an UNBRIDLED CONGRESS to ensure the will of the people is not ignored.

Sack Lunches

Below, is a heart warming article that made its way around the Internet some time ago. Its author is unknown, and its validity is undetermined by Snopes. I just received it, again, and it is definitely worth the read.

The Sack Lunches

I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight. I'm glad I have a good book to read. Perhaps I will get a short nap, I thought. Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down the aisle and filled all the vacant seats, totally surrounding me. I decided to start a conversation. 'Where are you headed?' I asked the soldier seated nearest to me. "Petawawa. We'll be there for two weeks for special training, and then we're being deployed to Afghanistan."

After flying for about an hour, an announcement was made that sack lunches were available for five dollars. It would be several hours before we reached the east, and I quickly decided a lunch would help pass the time. As I reached for my wallet, I overheard soldier ask his buddy if he planned to buy lunch. "No, that seems like a lot of money for just a sack lunch. Probably wouldn't be worth five bucks. I'll wait till we get to base." His friend agreed. I looked around at the other soldiers. None were buying lunch. I walked to the back of the plane and handed the flight attendant a fifty dollar bill. "'Take a lunch to all those soldiers." She grabbed my arms and squeezed tightly. Her eyes wet with tears, she thanked me. "My son was a soldier in Iraq ; it's almost like you are doing it for him." Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the soldiers were seated. She stopped at my seat and asked, "Which do you like best - beef or chicken?" "Chicken" I replied, wondering why she asked. She turned and went to the front of plane, returning a minute later with a dinner plate from first class. "This is your thanks."

After we finished eating, I went again to the back of the plane, heading for the rest room. A man stopped me. "I saw what you did. I want to be part of it. Here, take this." He handed me twenty-five dollars. Soon after I returned to my seat, I saw the Flight Captain coming down the aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he walked, I hoped he was not looking for me, but noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my side of the plane. When he got to my row he stopped, smiled, held out his hand, and said, "I want to shake your hand." Quickly unfastening my seatbelt I stood and took the Captain's hand. With a booming voice he said, "I was a soldier and I was a military pilot. Once, someone bought me a lunch. It was an act of kindness I never forgot." I was embarrassed when applause was heard from all of the passengers. Later I walked to the front of the plane so I could stretch my legs. A man who was seated about six rows in front of me reached out his hand, wanting to shake mine. He left another twenty-five dollars in my palm. When we landed I gathered my belongings and started to deplane. Waiting just inside the airplane door was a man who stopped me, put something in my shirt pocket, turned, and walked away without saying a word. Another twenty-five dollars! Upon entering the terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their trip to the base. I walked over to them and handed them seventy-five dollars. "It will take you some time to reach the base. It will be about time for a sandwich. "God Bless You."

Ten young men left that flight feeling the love and respect of their fellow travelers. As I walked briskly to my car, I whispered a prayer for their safe return. These soldiers were giving their all for our country. I could only give them a couple of meals. It seemed so little... A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life." That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.

[My thanks to Bonnie Feldman for this article]

An Escape to Simpler Times

I think it's safe to say we are going through difficult and stressful times. The men and women serving our nation in the military are in harm's way throughout the world, including Iraq and Afghanistan. We face complex decisions regarding those issues as well as issues regarding Iran, Russia, South America, Mexico and more. Economically we have serious issues with skyrocketing unemployment, bank failures, frozen credit markets, national debt, energy and what to do about them.

When life gets stressful it is therapeutic to, occasionally, take a break. Below are links to some videos that will take most of us back to simpler times. These videos will resonate best with the "over 50" crowd. However, if you are not there, yet, you may still find them interesting. Click on the links, below, for a little escape from today's problems. You may even find yourself smiling.

Popeye the Sailor: Man on the Flying Trapeze

Mickey Mouse Club